Should I Intervene in My Teen's Smoking?
Ask The Expert: Mark Menestrina, MD, Brighton Hospital
Out of the innocent mouths of mommies!
Q: My 16 year old son smokes cigarettes, I figure that's all he's doing while so many other kids are doing drugs and drinking alcohol. Isn't it better to pick the hill I am going to die on and settle for something as simple as smoking cigarettes? He will most likely grow out of this stage anyway.
A: I will address each of your statements separately:
Q: My 16 year old son smokes cigarettes, I figure that's all he's doing while so many other kids are doing drugs and drinking alcohol.
A: First and foremost, it is illegal for a 16 year old to smoke anything. Allowing this behavior teaches your adolescent that it is ok (with you) if he breaks the law. My guess is that that is not the message you want to give your son. Adolescents tend to apply one "freebie" across the board and the message is "my Mom said it is ok to break the law." Second: allowing your son to smoke (even though it is illegal) takes the "fun of risk" out of breaking a boundary. Statistics indicate that he will find a different boundary or law to break that you won't like. Stop that progression early. Enforce rules/laws/boundaries. Your son may tell you that EVERYBODY is smoking at school EVERYBODY. This isn't true. The truth is, approximately 44% of high school students have "tried" tobacco or alcohol products in the last 30 days. It is possible that your son is only hanging out with that 44%. Perhaps a little nudge to check out the entertainment the other 66% of the population at the high school is partaking in will encourage him to see the true and bigger picture. EVERYBODY is NOT smoking or drinking.
Q: Isn't it better to pick the hill I am going to die on and settle for something as simple as smoking cigarettes?
A: Regardless of how harmless you believe cigarettes are, they contain over 599 additives and 4,000 chemical compounds, many of which are toxic or carcinogenic when burned. Cigarettes are not "simple" - in fact, cigarette smoking is responsible for the death of 430,000- 435,000 deaths EVERY YEAR in the United States alone. This statistic correlates to 33%-50% of smokers die of smoking related illnesses. If I could get those odds in the state lottery, I'd play every day! Does knowing those odds help you to better understand how innocent or simple cigarette smoking isn't? Also important is that anyone who breaths second-hand smoke is exposed to these 4,000 carcinogenic poisons and suffers the risk of death due to inhalation of second-hand smoke. This could very well be the "hill" your son will die on some day.
Q: He will most likely grow out of this stage anyway.
A: Early use of any addictive drug (and cigarettes are definitely addictive and classified as a drug) poses the danger of lifelong addiction and consequences related to addiction, including death.
Being a parent is full of challenges, but remember to be a parent, not a friend. To address substance use issues with your children is not easy. But to not address them can be even more traumatic. We teach our children at an early age to not go with strangers, to wear seatbelts, to be aware of fire safety. These are appropriate topics, to be sure. We often don't address the risks of teen alcohol, tobacco and substance use, and our young people sometimes die before they have a chance to hear such messages.
Get informed, seek advice and counseling when needed, and always know it's not just someone else's kids who may have problems. It can happen to anyone! Lastly, if your teen may be using substances, you are not alone!
Dr. Mark Menestrina is the Medical Director of the detox unit at Brighton Hospital. He is a board member of the Livionia Save Our Youth Task Force as well as Building Better Families Through Action. He is Board Certified in Family Practice and certified by the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Dr. Menestrina is a frequent presenter at schools, public events and media presentations. He can be reached at
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
or through Shannon Rozell at (810) 355-6994
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
The Family Center, a 501(c) 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's centralized hub for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236
