Mother-Teen Daughter Realtionships. Plus info on MIP Diversion Programs
Ask the Experts by Anne Nearhood
Q. My daughter and I have always had a good relationship but it is becoming strained now that she is in high school. How can I get my daughter to confide in me again and return to being a mom who is open for discussion?
A. It sounds like you have already set the foundation for open communication with your daughter. Reflective listening is very useful when listening to teens discussing their daily "dramas" such as "how did you feel about that" or "that must have been a hard decision". This will eliminate passing judgments on friends or general situations which could cause a break-down in communication. It is important to remember you are the parent and not the best friend.
She is looking for your guidance and approval so it is your job to give her informed answers which aren't always going to be the answers she wants to hear. An atmosphere for an open discussion is important, perhaps a mother-daughter day once a month or exercise together once a week.
Q. My 16 year old son received a Minor in Possession (MIP) ticket this summer. At the end of the school year, I began to see a change in behavior and now this summer we discovered he is using marijuana and alcohol. What can we do to help him?
A. There are many local support systems in place in the community. The counselors and social workers within the school can help guide you to resources. The Grosse Pointe School System has a Student Assistance program through CARE that offers comprehensive, behavioral assessments depending on each student's needs, resource materials, and teen groups free of charge.
Since your son has already been arrested for an MIP, a diversion program might be the best option. A diversion program would allow your son to have the ticket removed from his record if he completes a Substance Use assessment, community service hours and attends an educational series. This program is free of charge through CARE when referred by any of the Grosse Pointe or Harper Woods Police Departments.
When researching diversion programs, please make sure the program has a SARF license (Screening Assessment Referral & Follow up). Please keep in mind not all therapists specialize in teens or substance use, this is a specialized field.
Anne Nearhood is a Community Organizer/Special Project Coordinator for CARE of Southeastern Michigan. CARE's mission is to educate, link and support Individuals, families, businesses and communities affected by family concerns, workplace challenges, mental health conditions and the misuse of alcohol, tobacco, and other drugs in Southeastern Michigan. The CARE office is located at 21012 Mack Avenue, Grosse Pointe Woods (313) 332-0973. Visit their website www.careofsem.com. CARE is a member of The Family Center's Association of Professionals.
The Family Center, a 501C 3, non-profit organization, serves as the community's hub
for information, resources and referral for families and professionals.
To view more Ask The Experts articles, please visit our website www.familycenterweb.org.
Please email your questions to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
To volunteer or contribute, visit familycenterweb.org or call 313.432.3832.
20090 Morningside Drive, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI 48236
Celebrating a Decade of Commitment to Community Families Since 2000
